Life Giving (or Quadrant II)

I have sort of half-finished stories all over the place. In my documents, of course, in a little folder called "writing," But also in about five journals which I have actually filled. Which is a bit ironic, since what I am writing about now is that-which-I-do-not-accomplish. And even more ironic, is that as I write this I realize that not finishing things really isn't my "thing." I LOVE to accomplish. To get things done. No matter the cost - I like to feel like I've ended each day having checked something important off my list. Mmmmm - sweet satisfaction.

So why the finished journals full of unfinished stories?

Writing for me is not like anything else. It's almost just an emotion, and so fleeting is it that it can sometimes crop up and disappear before I even get my documents file open. Like trying to take a picture of a wave on the beach. Or trying to get my six month old daughter into her crib and she wakes up the minute I lay her down.

Trust me, it's not the baby that keeps me from finishing.

Anyway, I have two things now that I am writing (other than the obvious blog entry!) The first I started a few months ago when I was dwelling on a really strange Advent book I had bought because of the beautiful artwork and suspected amazing stories and family discussion questions. It turned out the writing was super sappy and completely incomprehensible  to an adult, much less a poor child. Super broad and emotionally advanced and just - emotional. Too much emotion, not enough heart.

I decided to write my own, and one that follows the liturgical seasons as well so it will not start on December 1st, but the first Sunday in Advent! Hooray! Purple!

I've only gotten through the first week of stories, but I think things are going well. I can't help but include impressions I learned from my theology courses on Scripture, and I think I'm doing well with explaining deeper theological themes in a way kids can understand. Or at least presenting themes for my kids to delve into more when they get older. Perhaps I'll have my Scripture professor take a look at it when it's done, to see if there is anything he thinks is glaringly obviously wrong.

The second book I wrote is strictly for my daughter, CNZ. (Sounds a bit like 'sneeze' to me.) Baby books are easy, and it was especially easy for me to write as a mother because it's just the sentence "CN is...." completed in various forms of praise over and over again. CN is beautiful. CN is amazing. CN is Polish, Jewish, Czech, French, German, English, Scottish, Norwegian (if there ever were a mutt...poor thing. At least she looks very Polish. Czezc.) And praising one's own child is super easy. Especially if you've met CN....(mom bias, ha ha. But also not. She's objectively the best baby in the world.)

Both are very satisfying projects because I believe I can actually finish them and have a game plan of how to get them published. (Shutterfly, self publishing, kick-starter...etc).

I'm currently listen to CN sing herself to sleep (well, hopefully to sleep), and wondering how I finally got the initiative to finish something when I am being pulled in so many directions being a working mom. Ugh. I never thought I would be self-identifying as that. It sounds like it's my banner....gross, it's not. I have too many other banners that are much more descriptive. But it will have to do to describe the contrary life I live now to what I lived before when I was single and free and couldn't accomplish one damn story.

And here I am, re-starting this blog for no reason other than I don't give a crap-ola what people think of me anymore, I crave doing things that give me life, and I want CN to have a good example of prioritizing those life-giving activities.

Thus far: being a wife and mother = freedom. Being single and free = procrastinating, and "quadrant IV."




-RMVZ